Just one for us

Since Sweet Pea is 2, the question I hear the most is "are you trying for #2?" My neighbor even asked me if I was pregnant yet? I told her no, just fat! I hope she was embarrassed, very embarrassed!

I have been brewing about the only child idea for a while now. Honey Buns is happy with one, didn't even expect to have one and so happy he has her. I am the same, but coming from a big family I have been kinda thinking she needs a sibling. But I don't want to be pregnant again(I am old and it is hard) I don't really want to do the baby thing again(it is tiring and consuming) and just because you have a sibling...you don't always get along and finally(I can't face a special needs child even the thought of it is scary because... I am old...it is a huge risk)

This weekend I did some serious soul searching, serious. I confessed my fears and troubles to Honey Buns, he is such a good listener. He let me talk it all out, get all my fears out and arguments out on the table and he didn't even need to say much. Once I verbalized my fears...I came to this realization... like my good friend at wonderboytotherescue...I am happy with one. My family is perfect for me. My daughter is enough to keep me happy. I like her and we get along well.

I had a good weekend. It was freeing to unload all those fears and debates off my heart. Such a simple thing, but I have been carrying them for about a year now.

But the next person that asks will hear...I am so lucky have one child.
(Because I am)

quick update

Thought I better get back to let you know that things are going, going, going. I think it is teeth. I am sure it is teeth. The fever has been back and forth. I haven't seen an actual new tooth yet, but I have felt the bump.

She is back to her not eating ways. My cooking is not that great anyway, but when your only child refuses to eat what you fix for her...it is kinda depressing.

Then she is hungry at bedtime. I leave her plate on the table and that is all she gets...no snacks! She can eat her dinner. Don't worry the food is not spoiled, and sometimes she does eat it.

a crapshoot?

Is all of motherhood just a crapshoot?

am I spoiling her, am I scarring her, am I doing the right thing...How do you really know?

So here is the latest! I have a conference planned for today and tomorrow. One I am going to out of town and planning to sleep in a hotel out of town and leave Sweet Pea with Honey Buns on their own and I will be out of town.

Tuesday night...fever strikes. Sweet Pea is down with fever.

I had to work on Wednesday we had a huge inservice planned at the office. I had to go.

I canceled everything for my trip out of town.

Last night...fever breaks...she bounced out of bed this morning asking if she can go to see her friends at day care.

So I sent her for a few hours to play with her friends and I went to work.
Hope that was the right choice.

a year older

I am now a year older. One last year till the big 40...can you believe that? I can't. Seems old, so I am trying to ignore the fact.

But is was a great weekend. I had a day off from work on Friday and got a 2 hour facial. 2 whole hours for myself...can you believe it...a 2 hour facial. It was WONDERFUL! truly wonderful.

She did some extractions, I got a shoulder and neck massage, scrubbing, masking, and then some advice to solve my problems. The advice alone was well worth it.

She said I am not exfoliating enough--which I did not tell her I wasn't exfoliating at all--because I think they know the truth--doesn't the dentist know when I say I floss some, that actually means I flossed right before I came and not at all before that? He does, doesn't he!

Anyway...I got some samples and have tried them. Not going to spend the money on her products but I did get some exfoliating scrub at my favorite store and bought some moisturizer too and changed my make-up plan to help with the problems that are developing.

Then I went to get my haircut and drove back home. It was a perfect day off!

Birthday was great on Sunday. Family time is always best. Honey Buns got me this necklace with Sweet Pea's name on it. It brought tears to my eyes. My first piece of "Mom jewelry". I am wearing it today and no one has noticed...but me. But it is just perfect for me.

I got some great lip gloss, 2 bags with my name on them (one for travel and one for shopping) and a new curling iron to go with my new 'do. Doesn't it sound like a great day!
It was a wonderful weekend.

and now for the fine print...
1. I have a coupon code if you want something from the necklace place.
2. I picked out the necklace and actually ordered it for Honey Buns...but still it was a surprise to see what it looked like and all the emotion that having Mom jewelry meant to me.