Monday, January 23, 2012

falling in love again

Is it possible to fall in love with your daughter again? I read all the baby books that tell you, you might not love your baby the first instant you hold her in your arms...but give it time and you will once you hold her enough to know her. I believe it. Because I actually held her for such a short amount of time before they wisked her away...I wondered when they brought her back to me after I got back to my room...I haven't told many people this...but I actually wondered if she was the same baby. My baby. Turns out, she was my baby and that love came in waves that first day of her life. Because they took her away again and didn't bring her right back like I asked. (And I think there was some ranting in that room and a very gentle husband did what he could to fix an unfixable situation...)

Which brings us back to the story for today.

Sweet Pea and me went to visit my college friend at her mother's this weekend. We both have little girls and the brown haired one is 5 and the blonde is 4. They are fast friends and very cute together. They both have been into beads and making necklaces...they each made two this weekend. One each with their names in them. Sweet Pea was so proud of hers with her name in there. They decided to make the mom's one also. Brown haired is in kindergarten and reading and so smart. It is so hard not to compare them and they are only 15 mo difference in age. Sweet Pea is in Pre-K and so innocent and adorable...but also smart! Brown haired makes one for her mom with her name on it. She brings it out to present it to the mom and tell her...see I put your name in the necklace. She spells the name...T-A-M-M-I. The mom oohs and ahhs over it as it is wonderful. Sweet Pea brings me one and tells me she put my name on mine too. Did I want to wear it? You bet I did. She presents it...and it did have my name on it...M-O-M. And right at that moment with her shining eyes on me, I was so proud of her.

I fell in love...again.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year, New Me? !

I have made the same resolution for the past two years. The first year, I was semi-successful. 2011...I mastered that resolution! Menu planning is part of my life, a habit that makes my life easier, a routine to my week.

2012 needs to start off with a new resolution. I have a few brewing in the back of my skull. Listing them here will give them merit.

1. I want to get healthy. Diet and exercise. I want to lose 20lbs.

2. Cleaner house. I need to add this to my daily/weekly routine. I don't have a baby anymore, I don't have a toddler anymore, I can no longer use that as my excuse. I need to get a strategy I can understand and manage. Maybe pick-up one room a day and clean one area a week.

3. Professional goals. I need to write some.

4. Give him a break. I am going to try and give my husband the benefit of the doubt. He makes decisions differently than I do. He thinks of things differently than I do. I resolve to try and go with the flow more and wait to give my opinion until he asks for it.

5. Make time for fun with daughter. We need to do more, go more and experience more. That includes at home time too. I resolve to put away my book and do things with her.

I think maybe 4 will be the hardest for me.